Pronouns: They/them & She/her
The Academy is an isolating place for working class trans womxn of color.
My perception of a self perceived femme brings forth waves of validation to the divine I know myself to be.
Being here hasn’t changed the focus of my love,
merely, the way I currently can omit love,
and receive love.
From instances of not being enough -
to waves of reassurance;
are what l constantly feel as I stride towards the person I want to be for myself,
and all of you.
I have accepted who I am,
and I thrive in this body that is other-ed,
and seen as an (un)worldly visuality.
While surviving in higher education I have also accepted that I will never be seen,
for who I really am
by a world whose contemporary social
formations are not designed for
the perception of the other,
for the defiant.
We have to choose our battles within the phenomena of the academy. Where our perceptions of self are validated in the spaces we exist in; where our perception through the conciousness of others, and made (un) real.
We, the other, can never truly be free;
Until trans, and gender expansive
Afro - Indigenous - Native and Disabled
communities are free.
In this silent short film, QTPOC Artist Xelestiál tags on the walls words that depict moments throughout her life in this silent film, “Finding Womxnhood.” The Video depicts the text in this order; “Designated Man by the world. A womxn lives here. Lonely Womxn. She found herself in the chaos of gender. Trans, Defeat, Drugs, Confused, Recover, Femme. Trans Bodies Are Infinite” Directed, edited, and featuring Eve Xelestiál Moreno-Luz.
About Eve Xelestiál Moreno-Luz:
Still no matter how much I try to resist it / I wax nostalgic for a person who never existed
I’m not doing it on purpose, I promise. But when I’m in the bathroom alone I look at myself in the mirror and I go to a dark place within my own body, somewhere that I haven’t yet exorcised and burnt incense in.
Once I began to receive my benefits, I began to distance myself from an idea that productivity defines whether I am deserving of respect.