Finding Womxnhood

Filmed by Anne Chin

Pronouns: They/them & She/her

The Academy is an isolating place for working class trans womxn of color. 

My perception as a self identified femme brings forth

waves of validation to the divine I know myself to be. 

Being here hasn’t changed the focus of my love,

merely, the way I currently can omit love,

and receive love. 

From instances of not being enough -

to waves of reassurance;

are what l constantly feel as I stride towards

the person I want to be for myself,

my mother,

my femmecestors:

and all of you. 

I have accepted who I am,

and I thrive in this body that is other-ed,

and seen as an (un)worldly visuality. 

While surviving in higher education I have also

accepted that I will never be seen,

for who I really am by a world whose

contemporary social formations are not designed for

the perception of the other,

for the defiant.

We have to choose our battles within

the phenomena of the academy.

Where our perceptions of self are

validated in the spaces we exist in;

where our perception through the

consciousness of others, are made (un) real.

We, the other, can never truly be free; 

Until trans, and gender expansive

Afro - Indigenous - Native - Disabled

communities are free. 


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Film Description:

In this silent short film, QTPOC Artist Xelestiál tags on the walls words that depict moments throughout her life in this silent film, “Finding Womxnhood.” The Video depicts the text in this order; “Designated Man by the world. A womxn lives here. Lonely Womxn. She found herself in the chaos of gender. Trans, Defeat, Drugs, Confused, Recover, Femme. Trans Bodies Are Infinite” Directed, edited, and featuring Eve Xelestiál Moreno-Luz.


About Eve Xelestiál Moreno-Luz:

Xelestiál is a brown, trans and queer multimedia artist living and studying art in San Diego. Eve Xelestiál thrives/enjoys resisting with other TQPoC, cooking plant based food, listening to queer & trans music, singing IN queer, and watching queer cinema. Xelestiál is committed to combatting main stream media through her personal identity, visual art and poetry. You can find more of her work on: www.evemorenomedia.com